What Does Shaq’s Ass Really Taste Like?

Published by Marcus Vanderberg on Tuesday, June 24, 2008 at 4:11 pm.

Shaquille O’Neal

At 7-foot-1, Shaquille O’Neal isn’t one to hide. But that’s exactly what the big fella is doing by defending his diss against former teammate Kobe Bryant to just rapping freestyle. “Kobe, tell me how my ass taste,” Shaq rapped a few times before getting the crowd at a New York nightclub on Sunday to do the same.


His former teammate Kobe Bryant can’t be enjoying that taste.

Shaq, grinning and bobbing during the two-minute video that posted on tmz.com, mentioned Kobe a few times in his song. The two were never close and their relationship grew even more strained after Kobe’s infamous incident with a female hotel employee in Colorado in 2003.

At the time, Kobe told investigators looking into the woman’s rape allegation that Shaq paid up to $1 million in hush money to women with whom he had affairs. Now Shaq and Shaunie, his wife of nearly six years, are getting divorced. (Apparently a $4 million purple diamond doesn’t work on every woman as it did on Kobe’s wife Vanessa.)

Shaq rapped, “I’m a horse. Kobe ratted me out. That’s why I’m getting divorced. He said Shaq gave a (woman) a mil. I don’t do that ’cause my name’s Shaquille. I love ‘em, I don’t leave ‘em. I got a vasectomy, now I can’t breed ‘em.”

Don’t forget that Shaq, who has four kids with Shaunie and another from a previous relationship, was the one who filed for divorce back in September and stated in the petition that Shaunie has been “secretive about her assets … particularly with respect to certain properties owned or titled in either [her] name alone or in other entities” and requested that the court require Shaunie to give a “correct accounting of all money, funds, stocks, bonds, and other securities (including bearer securities)” acquired during the marriage. The two are still on good enough terms though. Shaunie and the kids were at Phoenix’ playoff games, cheering on the bread winner in the family.

O’Neal has three NBA rings with Kobe and one (in Miami) without him. Kobe has none without Shaq plus his Lakers got trounced 4-2 by the Boston Celtics in this year’s Finals, prompting Shaq to begin his rap, “Check it. You know how I be. Last week Kobe couldn’t do without me.” Fair enough. “I was freestyling,” O’Neal said in a statement after being contacted by ESPN’s Stephen A. Smith. “That’s all. It was all done in fun. Nothing serious whatsoever. That is what MC’s do. They freestyle when called upon. I’m totally cool with Kobe. No issue at all. And by the way, don’t forget, six albums, two platinum, two gold. Anybody who knows me knows I’m a funny freestyler. Check the NBA DVD when I was rapping about Vlade Divac during my first championship run. Please tell everybody don’t make something out of nothing.”

Um, OK.

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nunzio bagliere Said on

Shaq and I have two things in common – one never get married again – two Shaq pays his ex wifw alimony and my ex wife pays me alimony – from nunzio bagliere syracuse n.y. e mail nunzio61@verizon.net

Jimmy Said on

That rhyme was brutal, “but funny”.

Cea Said on

Actually the O’Neal’s have reconciled!

Maliria Said on

U is ugly

candiigurl Said on

oo that sh*t was too funny!!!

ncognito Said on

i mean whats the big deal. get over it Sheriff. That was funny though.

Angela Said on

Just as Shaq said – he was freestyling….and most rappers who freestyle say things worse than what Shaq said. Playing this up in the media gives too much attention to Crybaby, Snitchaman, Cheating, Sellout, Kobe Bryant!!! Kobe has done far worse things than Shaq. Please lay this crap to bed – where it belongs.

Neal Said on

I loved it. I can’t stand kobe’s arrogant butt no way.

ashlee Said on

Kobe is a mark! Shaq should have put more than his a.. in his face……

STAHR69 Said on

I’ve got to admit at one point and time I COULDN’T STAND KOBE and truth be told dude is FINE! I’m guessing they rode the same ride that’s where all the problems lie. Kobe’s confidence appears far too arrogant when beneath it all he has a heart and a shade of sensitivity. Where as Big Diesel leaves no room for soft spots. He’s domineering (move b$#@! get out the way!) just like that. that’s messed up between brothers that like Cane and Able

k.r.s.-1 Said on

No Shaq. Your’e not getting divorced ’cause your boy “ratted” on you. Your’e gettin’ a divorce because YOUR’E A ?$*, no other reason! Don’t blame it all on Kobe, that’s what ‘cha get for bein’ a trick!! I hope she takes him to the bank
AND to the cleaners!!

Anthony Said on

At least kobe made it to the championship to face the best defensive team in the nba. What have you done that time?” Nothing” So get your game together and let’s see if you make to the Western champion next year. By the way I’m from Los Angeles,CA and my aunt so dislikes you ever since you traded to the Miami Heats. I really was a big fan of your including the heats, but now you with the Phoenix Suns you really to retire.

amber Said on

Kobe needs to stop crying and live his life
Kobe is a HATER and a Bi*#* for telling on Shaq
cause he got caught kobe needs to be a man and worry
about winning another champion ship and leave the kiddy
games to his kids, I personally dont like Kobe anymore
where I from SNITCES dont stay around very long

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