Lauryn and Rohan: This Looks Like a Job For… Maury!

Published by on Thursday, July 28, 2011 at 12:00 am.

(Photo: Bruce Glikas/FilmMagic)

The birth of Lauryn Hill’s sixth child, while not causing a public stir on par with the birth of Christ, has created quite a rumble of speculation in the blogosphere.

About what? Of course, whether Rohan Marley is or is not the father. (The question of whether L-Boogie and Rohan are still a couple isn’t that important at this point.)

The two have crafted the perfect storm for a gossip-fest through their cryptic Tweets in regards to each other… The fuse lit when Marley tweeted: “2 things, I’m not married and I don’t have anyone expecting anything.”

Then following Hill giving birth, he sent this congratulatory tweet: “I’m forwarding all well wishes to Ms. Hill on the birth of her new son. I’m sure she’ll appreciate the love being sent to her RASTAFARI R.M.”

What! Her new son? Where’s the “our?”  And what’s up with referring to her as “Ms. Hill?”  Oh, the humanity!

But then Hill, maybe in an effort to continue the confusion, responds with her own less-than-forward Tweet, saying: “Mr. Marley and I have a long and complex history about which MANY inaccuracies have been reported since the beginning. To speculate without the facts can only cause people to form WRONG conclusions. We both value privacy and for that reason defend and preserve our right to it. Contrary to the numerous reports, Mr. Marley did not abandon me while pregnant with his child. We have had long periods of separation over the years but our 5 children together remain a joy to both of us. Thank you for your concern and I appreciate all of the well wishes regarding the birth of my new son. Until next time, Ms. Hill.”

Again, fodder for the rumor mill. “Our 5 children?” “My son” and not, again, our son? Is Rohan the daddy or not. Now we all want to know. And we have the perfect place for the world to possibly find out… On Maury.

Just imagine the attention such an episode would get—ratings on the level of Michael Jackson’s funeral.

Picture the TV drama: Lauryn on stage yelling to Maury that she “tryin’ ta find da fava of her baby” and how Rohan has moved on to a Brazilian model and he need to “step up and be a man.” Then comes Rohan, staring into the camera and then yelling: “Ya’ll ain’t pinning dat baby on me” along with how Lauryn ain’t his girl no more. The crowd is yelling and screaming until Maury tells us “The Results Are In!”

Lauryn sits pouting with her arms crossed and Rohan, on the other side of the stage, sits leaning forward. Maury extracts the paper from the envelope and says, “In the case of _ month old_______, Rohan, you ARE or (maybe) are NOT the father.”  We, the public, get our answer and either Lauryn or Rohan gets to do a ghetto-fied victory dance on stage.

If the back and forth about the birth of child number six can play out in public, shouldn’t the test to see who the daddy of Lauryn’s baby is go public, too? You tell us…

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