Contributor: Carrie Blackshaw

In more give-me-a-break news, Spencer Pratt, the I’m-famous-for-being-in-a-pretend-marriage-with-a-reality-star guy, calls his “wife” Heidi Montag the “white Beyonce.” In a blog interview, he says that he’ll be bigger than Diddy, while Heidi is a much more talented singer than Beyonce.

Spencer tells Complex, he’s the “white Jay-Z,” while Heidi is “a little bit more than the white Beyonce. Beyonce had to be built by a group like Destiny’s Child, but Heidi shines solo. I’ll actually give you an exclusive: I could guarantee you Speidi’s [Spencer and Heidi’s] ‘Bonnie & Clyde’ version is going to stunt on Jay and B’s version.”

Boy, sit down.

Shia-na-rah

Ah, yes. I remember this rumor quite well. Brothas were upset when the streets heard that Rihanna was dating Shia Lebeouf. In an interview with Playboy magazine, he talks about how there was only one date, no chemistry, but the two remain friends.

He says he was stunned when she tried to get in touch with him. “(I was) filming a sword fight when I got the message. I said to myself ‘Can this be my life’” he said.

They set up a dinner date, but “it never got beyond one date. The spark wasn’t there. We weren’t passionate about each other in that way, so we remain friends.”

Oh well.

Maybe, baby?

OK, so maybe it’s time to let the whole is she or is she not pregant thing go with Mariah Carey. Ever since she and Nick Cannon said “I do,” folks have been trying to put a baby in her belly. Now that her new movie “Push” has premiered at Cannes and is getting all types of crazy-good-buzz (“Glitter,” what?), folks are looking at her abdominals a little carefully.

Let’s back away from the EPT and let them announce to us when they’re with child, shall we?

Contributor: Carrie Blackshaw

Your boy Fiddy betta watch out. According to his boo, things got plenty hot and heavy on the shoot for Ciara and Justin Timberlake’s “Love, Sex Magic” video.

Among other things? They both ended up licking each other.

“We were just trying to do some fun, playful things, just to give the record and the video another edge. We freestyled a bit, said we were going to try a few things. After a while, we’re doing it again and again. Now I feel awkward when people say, “What did his ear taste like?” Ciara told the New York Post.

Chemistry was hot — they also nibbled each other’s ears — and it pretty much shows in the final product. Uh-oh. JT betta watch out.

Contributor: Carrie Blackshaw

OK, so we’re just fanning the fires here, but what if Madonna, Kanye and Amber Rose had some sort of Wild Things like fun here?

They certainly look booed up and cozy in this photo, where the three of them were squeezed up and looking very … shall we say, Video Phone-ish? It’s a well documented blog favorite that Ye’s chick likes chicks (and even at 50+, Madge is still up for anything, right?), so maybe this isn’t all that far fetched? She posted this trio-riffic picture on her twitter page.

Contributor: Carrie Blackshaw

Maybe it’s time to lay down the mama and baby mama beef?

So your boy 50 Cent isn’t exactly moving product the way he thought he would. His latest video game, “Blood on the Sand,” has only moved an estimated 56,000 copies, which is a far cry from his first video game. In 2005, his video game sold 681,000 copies, with life-to-date sales of 1,123,000 units.

Is homie falling off? How about we go back and focus on the music, Fif?

Contributor: Carrie Blackshaw

So by now we’ve all heard the news that Rev. Run’s eldest son, well, ran.

But why? Friday night, Joseph “Jo Jo” Simmons was seen about to smoke on a little herb sitting inside his  parked car. After the 19-year-old was approached, sources claim that he attempted to put the vehicle in reverse and escape from the scene almost strking a NYPD vehicle.

For real, dawg?

Later, he was detained, and he was charged with criminal use of drug paraphernalia, possession of Marijuana, resisting arrest and attempted reckless endangerment.

Was that necessary? What’s really going on? Is this classic away-from-home acting out? Or good kid turned bad?

The verdict isn’t out yet, but I’m more than positve that daddy will have a good “words-to-live-by” profound something or other to send out. Or maybe it’ll be addressed in one of the families reality shows.

Contributor: Carrie Blackshaw

Go ahead and admit it: you’ve been waiting to get the juicy details of Lil’ Kim’s life in the Big House, yes?

Well, she’s about to give it to you. The pint-sized rapper-turned-hoofer said that she’s planning to release a tell-all book that would among other things, detail her time behind bars. Yeah, we’ve been down this road before (both she and Foxy Brown were paid advances by Simon & Schuster for books expected to have already hit shelves; ironically, both of them had to serve time not all that long after getting their deals) but it looks like she’s going to come through on this one.

But the book, y’all. She needs help paying down that debt.

“It’s about the time when I stayed in prison, the things I learned and went through,” she tells OK! Magazine of her book, which will be titled, of course, “The Price of Loyalty.” “You don’t think about things until it happens to you. The book is going to give people who have been in those situations a bright outlook on life”

Well, at least she gets to tell her side of the story. No doubt B.I.G. will find his way in the book. Movie next?

Contributor: Carrie Blackshaw

Oh, Cassie. We’re so embarassed for you.

In case Cassie isn’t on your Google Alerts, Diddy’s “artist” is back in the news again for something unflattering.

The 22-year-old singer says that laptop hackers are responsible for leaking some topless photos of her. Girl, stop.

‘It seems that someone has hacked into my computer…that’s real foul and evil… Now stop acting like you haven’t seen a t**ty before,’ she twittered after the photos got out there.

For all of us keeping count, folks are thinking that this is yet another ploy to get her name out there in the news and remind people that — wait for it — her new album comes out next month.

So there you have it. Cassie’s boobies are out there and yes, she has an album coming out in June. Nudity kinda worked for Kim Kardashian, so maybe you got next, girl.

Contributor: Carrie Blackshaw

Now this next big of news could be because his stuff isn’t exactly on the up and up, but what the heck is Irv Gotti talking about?

In an interview with Angie Martinez, Gotti kind-of-sort-of blames Jay-Z for the whole celebrity couples thing. I’m guessing he’s just talking about black celebs in particular, seeing as how famous folks have been booed up long before Jayand Beyonce.

“I just don’t think most [celebrity relationships] are real and have a real foundation,” he explained. “I don’t think that it started with real love and everything. I think the way Hov is, everyone started getting on these celebrity couples after they seen Hov and [Beyonce] which I believe is the one true, real one. I want ‘em to make it. I like those two alot. Hov is my brother and I’m just happy for them now. But they thing looks really real and with everyone else, it’s like Hov tells you to take off your throwbacks and put on button-downs and that’s what they do. They see Hov with the power couple and that’s what they doing. That’s like what’s ‘in’ now.”

I guess since their powerhouse pairing, there have been a few couples to emerge. Kenyon Martin and Trina, Nelly and Ashanti, and even though Kelis and Nas don’t look like they’re going to make it, they had a pretty good run (at least on the outside). Personally, I tend to think these are legit pairings and not industry hook-ups. Your thoughts?

Contributor: Carrie Blackshaw

Oh no he didn’t!

If you haven’t been watching “Dancing With the Stars” then you missed a lil to-do about Lil Kim. One of the judges, Bruno Tonioli referred to the Queen Bee as a royal tramp while giving her his accessment earlier this week.

“You tried to be a lady, but you’re more comfortable as a tramp,” Bruno nastily sounded off after Lil Kim and partner Derek Hough failed to impress during a performance of the waltz Monday.

Say what?

True that it was awkward — and for all the obvious reasons you’re thinking of — but at least one guy didn’t want to bumble with the Bee.

Host Tom Bergeron jumped in to make the audience laugh after a couple groans with a crack about “Bruno’s Charm School.”

Now let’s keep it real: we all know about Kim’s music content, we’ve seen how she dressed and we know that she was one of hip-hop’s most famous side-part-unders. But was that really called for? Should homeboy apologize for calling the Queen a tramp?

With all that said, Kim was kicked off the next night…

Contributor: Carrie Blackshaw

They tried to make him go to rehab, he said “no, no, no …” But apparently upon second thought, former NBA great and reality dude Dennis Rodman, changed his mind. Instead of the inpatient treatment that friends and family — including Laker’s coach Phil Jackson — wanted him to partake in, Rodman will instead do an outpatient program, where he’ll regularly see a counselor.

Thank, gawd. If any of y’all watched Celebrity Apprentice, then you know you cringed everytime he was on the screen too.

“Yes, they tried an intervention, but unfortunately Dennis refused to go,” Rodman’s rep tells E! News. “We all know how amazing he is when sober, and we hope he gets there soon.”

One reason for his refusal to go into treatment? Rodman’s desire to attend The Celebrity Apprentice reunion show. Says his rep, “He will be in New York City for the show’s finale next Sunday.”

Great news. Get help, brotha.