Movie Review: “Battleship”Published by Clay Cane on Friday, May 18, 2012 at 12:00 am.
Review: “You sunk my battleship!” is the line from the legendary Hasbro board game that is now a feature length, sci-fi/action adventure film. Even without knowing the film’s plot, one can imagine the movie will be no classic. Therefore, the stakes are wildly low, explosions and fight scenes will suffice for a flick that has no expectations of brain and wit — and Battleship brazenly lacks both.
The movie opens with a dopey scene based around a chicken burrito, then transitions to a spoiled slacker, Lieutenant Alex Hopper, who is threatened to be kicked out of the Navy if he doesn’t become a better solider. On a training session, aliens attack and it’s in Alex’s hands to save the planet. In addition, maybe he will prove to his girlfriend’s father — who happens to be his commanding officer — that he will be a good husband. A standard, formulaic flick that is a low-budget hodgepodge of Deep Impact, Armageddon and Transformers with useless emotional punch that seems pulled from Gossip Girl. But there’s a lot of explosions!
That said, I thought the Peter Berg produced and directed film could not redeem itself, Battleship had a good dose of eye-popping action and special effects. Once Battleship got started, the film moved quickly with a fiery energy that border-lined on being a solid action flick.
We can’t forget Rihanna, who made a smart move by taking a small role in Battleship as Petty Officer Cora, a fearless, tough chick. She wasn’t in the film enough to know if she can act, but she wasn’t in the film enough to know if she can’t act. Nonetheless, her safe role was admirable considering some pop stars want to dive into a leading role when they are unprepared and clearly struggling on screen. Side note: Rih’s hat deserves recognition! That cap was sealed on her head — weathering ocean waters and alien attacks! Who needs a lace front with a hat like Rih’s?
The best character in the film was double amputee Colonel Gregory D. Gadson who played Lieutenant Colonel Mick Canales. The 20-year Army vet gave Battleship some soul and credibility. While Battleship definitely has an all-American political agenda that would make Republicans cheer, Gadson was a stamp of approval and a joy to watch.
Battleship is in theaters now.