Stores across America that sell Halloween paraphernalia are impossibly crowded at this point. And if you live in a major city like I do, fugeddabout it. But don’t fret. The best way to celebrate Halloween (for those interested in dressing up) is by keeping it simple, easy and cheap. Here are some suggestions for last minute Halloween costumes inspired by iconic TV characters. Ninety percent of these ensembles probably already exist in your closet.

Tyrone Biggums
Dave Chappelle immortalized this character in his funny racy sketch comedy show. Prior to Tyrone Biggums, Pooky (from New Jack City) was the world’s most famous crackhead. As far as a costume goes, all you need is a red scully, baby powder for your lips, a navy blue hoody, a neutral colored blazer, neutral colored pants and white sneakers. Crack is optional but not suggested (drugs are bad).

Wanda

We met Wanda, the infamous Ugly Woman, on In Living Color and were scared to death when she snapped her fingers proclaiming to unsuspecting prey that she would “rock their world.” What you need: Tacky curly blonde wig, red lipstick, pearls and a poofy dress. Make sure to purse your lips to the extreme.

Jerome

Jerome can definitely be in the house this Hallows Eve! You need a gaudy suit from the 70s, preferably by MCM (see if you can borrow one from your Uncle), a Jheri Curl wig, goatee and a fake gold tooth (if all else fails, you can use the gold foil from mini Reese’s Pieces).

Shenehneh

This one is relatively simple if you still have (or know anyone who has) 90s gear locked in a closet somewhere. Get some doorknockers (they sell them for a dollar at the beauty supply store) and a wig styled in an extreme hair-do (think the movie BAPS).

Steve Urkel

The nerdy glasses trend is really annoying but since they’re in style these days, you may already have this part of your costume down. For the rest of it you will need high-water mom-jeans, white socks, skippies, suspenders and a striped polo. Make sure you perfect your snort as well.

Fire Marshall Bill

Get a black suit and tie, white button down, black rain boots (to substitute for the fireman boots), and a captain’s hat and you’re all set. If you can do the Popeye thing with your teeth and face, then it’s Fire Marshal Bill for the win!

Martin Lawrence and Jamie Foxx have made us laugh throughout the years with various zany characters, but none have stood out more than Lawrence’s Sheneneh, and Foxx’s Wanda. Ever wonder who would win in a fight? Let’s see:

Wanda

MO: Wanda  was a painfully ugly woman who wore a tacky curly blonde wig, and had greasy overly pursed lips, whose sole motivation in life was to find a man.

Style: Prone to wearing bright animal print and neon feather boas.

Career: Wanda always worked a different job but whether she was really employed by said businesses was questionable because her mission was always to seduce an unsuspecting male patron, but it often seemed more like she snuck into whatever establishment she was in at the time. If she was actually employed by these businesses, it obviously didn’t last long.

Social Circle: Wanda was a loner.

Catch Phrase(s): “I’ll Rock Your World,” and “Heeeeeey!” ”

Attitude: Wanda was oblivious to when men were trying to run away from her, but she gets points for her confidence. However, whenever she felt disrespected, she didn’t hesitate to tell someone off and could often be spotted spinning a windmill.

Getting the guy: She never got the guy.

Sheneneh

MO: Sheneneh wasn’t easy on the eyes, but she wasn’t as hard to look at as Wanda. Her primary goal was to make Pam and Gina’s lives miserable.

Style: She was all about the 90s around-the-way girl glam. She wore dookie braids, big gold jewelry, long bright nails and a fanny pack.

Career: Sheneneh was ghetto, but she owned a business, which was a beauty salon. She even hooked Gina’s hair up for her wedding.
Social Circle: Sheneneh’s best buds were Keylolo and Laquita.

Catch Phrase(s): “Oh my goodness,” and “No You Didn’t!”

Attitude: Sheneneh never held her tongue. She put everyone in their place whenever it was necessary but despite her constant bickering with Gina and Pam, she occasionally had their backs.

Getting the Guy: She had a man. It was her jailbird boo Lafonz.

Results: Sheneneh wins the Best Character Award. What do you think? Did I leave out any details?

I’m not saying this out of personal bias, but there’s no reason why you shouldn’t be watching the BET Awards this Sunday.

But, some of ya’ll out there are stubborn, but no worries, I’m going to do my best to convince you to do what you should be doing anyway.

Below are my top ten reasons why you need to be watching the 2009 BET Awards.

1. What else do you have to do? Most people with melanin will be watching the awards. Don’t have cable? “Borrow” from your neighbor or invite yourself over. Do whatever it is you need to do to watch the show.

Disclaimer: I am kidding about stealing cable. I have no bail money for you.

2. Jamie Foxx is hosting. No offense to the strange man from across the pond who hosted last year’s VMAs, but I’ll take Wanda any day over him. Already Jamie has promised his opening monologue will take it back to his days at Def Comedy Jam. Get ready to laugh.

3. Beyonce will be there. Perhaps it’s the stan in me, but I’ve noticed the better editions of the BET Awards have featured Queen Bey shaking her lace front on stage. Be excited.

4. Two words: Halllleeeeee Berrrrrry. If you are from the South or at least not a hater of the southern dance movement, get ready to break out your hand and dance like you’re having an aneurysm because Hurricane Chris will be performing “Halle Berry (She Fine).”

5. Maxwell is performing. Maxwell killed last year, and it’s been so long since we’ve had an R&B vocalist who doesn’t sing in a way that reminds you of Rosie from The Jetsons.

6. Soulja Boy is performing. Now, this doesn’t necessarily tickle my fancy, but I understand he’s all the rage at the playground, so get ready to turn your swag on as the MC Hammer remix takes the stage.

7. Mary Mary are booked to get their praise on during the show. Amen and all that.

8. The O’Jays are being honored for their musical achievements. You know you want to see your mama and ‘nem (yes ‘nem) cut up.

9. Because I said you should watch it. I think I have pretty good judgment. You should trust me.

10. The Michael Jackson tribute. As sad as it is to find out that the King of Pop is now moonwalking in heaven, BET has announced that there will be a tribute for the fallen icon at the beginning of the show. You don’t want to miss the surprises lined up.

I’m late on posting this, but Oscar-winner Jamie Foxx will be starring in a half-hour animated comedy on Comedy Central, as part of the network’s new line up of programming scheduled to premiere throughout the rest of the year, into early 2010.

Loosely based on his Sirius/XM satellite radio program, “The Foxxhole,” Foxx and his crew of comedian buddies convene weekly to discuss various topics from politics to music to sex. The series will also follow Foxx’s busy life as an A-list star and his crew’s attempts to define their own careers. Foxx and Marcus King will executive produce and Lance Crouther will write the pilot.

The animated aspect is throwing me off a little, but it’s a unique idea. Plus, since Foxx is no stranger to TV comedy, and the radio show is already funny, I think it will work out for him. Would you watch?