Top 10: Ten Things You BETTER NOT Do In Washington, DC!

January 17th, 2009

Consider this a WARNING! I’m pretty sure you all knew a list like this was coming, so get your popcorn, take a squat and get ready to rifle through the YOU BETTER NOTs of Barack Obama’s Inauguration in Washington, D.C.

I’m pretty sure a majority of you reading this are either partaking in the inaugural festivities as we speak, making the journey to DC at the current moment or posted up in your residence following every tidbit available for viewing. Though this is list isn’t for the latter, I would like for ALL parties participating this weekend to PLEASE take heed to the list I’m about to deliver. The world is watching; DON’T BLOW IT!

Without further ado, I present to you, Top Ten: The Ten Things You BETTER NOT Do In Washington D.C.

10. Ask for any sort of discount at ANY establishment. Remember, everyone’s President is black now, so the privileges you think you’re entitled to, jump in line….you’re not the only one. “That’ll be $15.75, sir” “Come one, haven’t you heard the news, my President is black”.

9. Please don’t give the MPD (Metropolitan Police Department) any reason to send 950,000 volts in your tushi. The last thing Barack Obama needs to be worried about is whether or not the cop on duty had a reason to defend himself. Act right, folks.

8. Do not, I repeat, DO NOT yell “GOTCHA” to anyone outside of the African-American culture. This is in no way a “GOTCHA” moment. Rubbing Obama’s victory in with boisterous banter while 80,000 other folks surrounding you consistently yell, “My President Is Black, My Lambo Is Blue” will sure ignite some tension.

7. Remember, this is a political atmosphere…treat this event like it needs to be treated. Treating the inauguration like its All-Star, Superbowl, Freak-Nik, or Spring Break weekend will only enhance the chances of #9.

6. Do not crash any parties/functions/gala/or balls. Yes, Jay-Z is having a party at Club Love. Yes, TI, Jeezy, Nas and Akon will be performing at the BET Inauguration, but that damn sure doesn’t give you any reason to act ignorant at the door because your favorite artists is inside singing your favorite tune. Be cordial. If they say “Keep it moving”, please do so in a timely fashion.

5. During the day of the inauguration, keep your heads, bodies and arms inside your vehicles. This is a different type of victory, celebrate it in a professional manner.

4. Do not head down to DC with the mentality of “I can’t wait to hit Jay-Z’s concert”. Our 44th President, whom is black might I add, is on the verge of getting sworn in, educate yourselves…somehow…someway. And if you wake up with a hangover after a night of partying, that ass better get up and educate yourselves just as hard. This is the wrong time to “Blame It On The Alcohol”.

3. I know it’s already occurring, but DO NOT go down there with the hustlers mentality. Leave all your “OBAMA” paraphernalia at home. Have some respect for Obama, I mean seriously. I know the economy is in shambles right now, but if you’re down there already, your financial status isn’t THAT bad.

2. Do not ask anyone of a different creed, culture or race, “Hey, how does it feel to have a Black President?”. You’re only setting yourself up for an insane amount of disrespectful responses which might include…..well, you’re not naive, just don’t DO IT!

1. If you happen to see or catch a glimpse of Barack Obama…PLEASE, I REPEAT, PLEASE, whatever you do……DO NOT YELL, “Barack, what up my N*GGA?” That sentiment right there will basically cancel out everything Barack’s accomplished thus far. Think I’m lying, take a quick glance right after you blurt out the moronic gesture…YOU’LL SEE!

Alright, I’m done. Be safe, have fun and remember…this is Barack’s Week…NOT YOURS!


Low “Congratulations Barack, we’re soooooooo proud of ya” Key

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