He’s a man of many words, some of which we’re still trying to make sense of! 

A wise man once said, “The nice thing about being a celebrity is that when you bore people, they think it’s their fault.” Apparently, in some instances, that sentiment alienates our man of the hour. See the one thing I love about the Sir Diddy is, at times, well most of the time, he doesn’t give a flying fuzzy about what exits his mouth. Whether it’s leading the brigade in calling Wayne’s album a classic (I damn near choked) or calling The Glow In The Dark Tour a life altering experience (ok, he gets a pass on that one), or even deeming himself, Ciroc Obama (sighs), the absurdity of his thought process always knocks me out of my SB Blazers once I get wind of it.

Maybe I’m being a weeee bit anal on this issue, but ever since homeslice got hold of a recording apparatus and a computer, it’s like a Diddy blog pops up every 9 seconds. “Diddy Blog, Diddy Blog Diddy Blog, Bitches”…..it’s like the music you hear right before a horror scene and you KNOW something awful is about ensue. Perfect example, when John McCain elected Sarah Palin as his running mate on the Republican ticket, Diddy climbed all over that topic and swung his feet like a little kid waiting for the first moronic thing to come to his head. And of course, “John McCain is bugging the f*ck out”, was the first and best thing he could come up with. To be quite honest, his political familiarity probably stretches as far as my shoelace, give or take an inch. And not to say that I’m any better, but you won’t see a “LowKey Blog” calling Sarah Palin an overrated Soccer Mom, although that would be hilarious, lol!

Another example,  specifically Diddy Blog #12: “Gas Prices Are Too High”. Is it me, or did he think once that blog was published, the United States, and the entire world for that matter, would finally understand the painful message that gas prices were far beyond the average rate? Is Diddy our “Gas Prices Are Too High” spokesman? Or is it the fact that I, and the rest of America, spend $95.00 every 3 days filling up our tanks??? Maybe he’s playing along with this whole “Recession” issue just to keep us out of his hair because of his extravagant spending habits or the fact that he was the 3rd highest grossing hip hopper in 2008? Whatever it is, it needs to stop! Oh and Diddy, when you fly coach, your seat isn’t the FIRST one on the plane, it’s about 6 or 7 rows towards the back….trust me, I fly coach ALLL THE TIME, lol!

His recent “Look at me, I’m on YouTube” tour comes on the heels of a report from Josh Lambiet who asserts that Diddy doesn’t even own a private jet and that also his pricing was off by a hefty figure. Of course, Diddy couldn’t let that slide, so in an unofficial “Diddy Blog”, the mogul announced that “an investigation has been launched” on whether or not he owned an actual Jet. Really?? Is this really a topic of discussion, sir? Does it matter whether he owns a wing, a wheel or the entire thing? Does it matter whether or not a jet is actually registered under your name? And to be honest, how the HELL do you pull in $35 million in 2008, but can’t fill up your plane?? Mannnnnnnn, we don’t believe you, you need more people! If this isn’t an “I need attention right now plea”, I don’t know what it is!

My advice to Diddy, get off the blogs, get in the studio and get BACK to work! We don’t need, Press Fast Forward, the follow up to Press Play, we need what you did on American Gangster (Diddy executive produced the Lp). We need what you did on Puff Daddy & The Family…we need THAT, sir! I’m a fan of ya homey, I really am….but this nonsense has to CEASE. And if it doesn’t, I will issue a call to your internet carrier in hopes of YANKING your connection, so the only thing you can write your blogs on are Twitter and through text messaging. And believe me, typing as much as you talk won’t be fun. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m heading to Cold Stone’s Creamery to get a MEDIUM Milkshake with Oreo’s and Snickers, instead of a large, because gas prices are too high. I mean it’s a recession right, let me start ACTING like it…I learned that from YOU!

Sincerely

Low “Take That, Take That” Key

TAGS: Diddy

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