Remember, this is alllllll JOKES! I mean, I’m still in shock at the current situation, but I’m still side eying the fact that Ri Ri’s people tried to cover up the situation with the both of them being in a CAR CRASH (serious side eye). At first mention, Chris Brown was under investigation for being involved in a domestic dispute after a Grammy function honoring Clive Davis. The victim’s named wasn’t mentioned, but several rumors already began to circulate that it was either an anonymous female counterpart or the obvious, Rihanna.

Still, many people are remaining weary about what’s REALLY going on between the two love birds. If the victim is in fact Rihanna, then this is probably one of the most horrible cover ups known to man kind (no comment, lol). And since I just found out the victim IS Rihanna, her publicist should be fired!

Now, since we don’t know EXACTLY what happened between the two, I’ve taken the liberty to draw up TEN conclusions of my own. Too early? Probably, but had they handled this issue with common sense, I would’ve been a bit more sensitive to the subject at hand.

So, without further ado, I now present to you, Top Ten: 10 Things That Could’ve Happened Btw Rihanna and Chris Brown. Remember, this is allllllll in good fun. However, it is SAD that Chris laid hands on Ri Ri. Not cool dude, NOT COOL!

10. Right after Chris saw this video, he found a dread of Young H.O.’s (Jay-Z) nappy fro in the limo.

9. After the Clive Davis function, Chris asked Rihanna to “Run It”, but all she offered was a “Kiss Kiss”. She then yelled, “I’m done ‘With You’. Chris slowly moved closer to Rihanna giving her, “No Air” , which sent the songbird scrambling to send an “S.O.S”. “Shawty Got Loose”, but Chris wasn’t too far behind. She managed to get back in the car and told the driver to “Shut Up & Drive”. Before pulling off, Chris managed to sneak in a double mint two piece, yelling, “We’re going to be together ‘FOREVER’.

8. A publicity stunt gone TERRIBLY wrong!

7. Chris felt it wasn’t fair Rihanna got to release her third album 7 times. He thought it was time to put an end to the BS.

6. Chris decided to watch “What’s Love Got To Do With It” right before Rihanna got in the car.

5. Again, after watching THIS video, he took THIS song too literal.

4. He figured an incident like this would do him better justice than a measly Grammy appearance alongside his victim, I mean girlfriend.

3. He needed another way to convince the media he was the real bad boy of R&B. The tattoo’s just weren’t enough.

2. How else was he going to find out if Rick Ross was really a cop?

1. Chris found out Rihanna’s real name is Robyn Fenty.

Sincerely

Low “REMEMBER, THIS IS ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLL JOKES” Key

TAGS: Chris Brown, LowKey, Rick Ross, Rihanna, The Dream

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