Exclusive: Torrence’s Talk With Debra Winans

Published by Torrence Glenn on Monday, December 7, 2009 at 6:12 pm.

Earlier today, Bebe Winans was cleared of all charges of assaulting his former wife Debra Winans. You can read his statement here. Well, I also spoke to Debra to get her take on today’s events and she didn’t hold back. 

*Here’s our conversation:*

Today, Bebe was exonerated of the assault charges concerning you. How do you feel about that? Was justice served?

Absolutely not. The one thing I will tell you Torrence, the one thing he will have to live with for the rest of his life is that his children witnessed it. They were not able to be heard from a judge. They were never asked about it in court. They could not give testimony. But they will never forget what he’s done.

Why weren’t they allowed to speak?

Well, some judges don’t do that because of their age. They’re 14 and 10. Unless it’s like a murder case or something like that, they don’t want the children to be in the middle. However, my daughter wrote a letter, because there were some other  things that Bebe tried to sabotage.  She’s 14. She’s very expressive. She’s a great writer and it’s very clear where she is, where they are.  That’s why I’m saying: you can fool a judge, you can fool a counselor from who decided he shows no signs of domestic violence in only 2 sessions. And my response to the D.A. was ‘so did the man that killed all the people at Ft. Hood showed no signs of violence, but wow, didn’t he ever do the damage.’ He will have to live with that. I know he is guilty. That’s never gonna change.

Do you now wish you might have moved forward with the earlier charges you pressed. (Debra filed domestic violence charges against Bebe for another incident a few years ago that she subsequently dropped.)

Oh absolutely. I realized later that was a big mistake. Because at least it would have been on record. I don’t know how much difference it would have made because it happened in a different county, but at least it would have been on record.  And if anybody’s smart, they can still go to the archives and pull it up from Williamson County.  But I wish I would have kept those charges. But like I explained, I wanted my children more. And at that time I didn’t realize that he could not take them from me. I was so fearful and he had a whole lot more money and he had a whole lot more influence. And I believed it. I believed that he could take them. But I know different. I know a whole lot different now.

So where does that leave the custody dispute.

Oh, it’s still very much there.  But I will fight it to the bare end. I’m raising Benjamin and Mya.  our children love him but they have their own conclusions. They’ve  had their own experiences with him. They respect him because I taught them to. They don’t like what he does.  They’re children, but they’re smart and they know. They know. Forget me, I can handle me. But when you affect these babies, I have a real problem with you. And he will have to deal with that when he looks them in their face, and he knows that they know the truth. Say all you want.  Say all this about God’s vindication and all that. All of it means absolutely zero to your children who should be the most important people on this earth. Deal with it. He’ll have to deal with that.

So the former  custody agreement is still in place?

Yeah, the parenting plan is still in place. But I’m working on some things to make some serious changes. But please understand I’m not  going to be silent anymore. I’m just not. Unfortunately, I thought I was doing the right thing by being quiet all these years. Like I said, it’s a delay of the inevitable. It is what it is, but the scripture is very clear that there is a time to be a silent and a time to speak. And that time is now for me.

Are you fearful of any future altercations with him.

Let’s just face it, if you do it once, you’ll do it twice. And if you’ll do it twice, you’ll do it again. He’s already slapped my daughter across her face. C’mon. People don’t know who he really is. But we do, so we deal with him accordingly. But ya know, when you’ve got money and power.. but he doesn’t have more money and power than God. My comfort is in knowing that our vindication is going to come. That is my comfort.

***

Wow, Debra is not finished with this situation. What do you think? Who do you believe? My goal in speaking to Debra was to give them both an opportunity to share their side of the story. It’s a very sad story but as we’ve seen lately; Christians, gospel artists, etc. are not immunie to real life issues and we should deal with them as they come up. Like I always say when difficult situations happen to our folks, I’m hoping and praying for the best in all of this. Although I don’t know what that is…

What are your thoughts?

Torrence

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Comments

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tania Said on

Just like I say to anyone else it is God who you have to stand before and answer



Regina Said on

It’s really not any of our business and what goes on behind close doors should stay behind close doors No man or woman should put their hands on each other for any season.. She should let go and let God handle this for the children sake. I believe that he did do what she said he did and he will .pay for it when God say sooooo. She really need to think twice before she open that door .The children may have suffered enough and they shouldn’t have to be subjected to some of those snakes out there who don’t give a care anyway. Just think long and hard before you make any decisions. Be blessed safe



blessed5beyond Said on

The sad thing is that when you ask for help and you are still let down. I went through the same thing with my child’s father. He lied for seven years about his income with child support and said he is always there for his child. Well you know just this year it has been proven and documented that this man was making way more money than he was reporting and they finally decided to hear my child’s voice, not mine’s but my child’s. How can you think $5.96 a day is going to feed, clothe, and any activites they may want to do will help while you ride around in three different cars? I’m not bitter and neither is Debra, she is fed up. Those lies will catch up to you. When I left the courtroom, I just started crying my eyes out. For more than seven years I struggled to put myself through college, work, and take care of my child and he would not pay a dime in daycare. See he didn’t want to see me do better than him in life and he was ordered to pay me more than ten grand in back child support for his lies. Yeah at times I felt defeated and he had everybody thinking I was bitter too. I have not spoken to him in years and I keep my distance. In the end I didn’t want him, didn’t care he had different women coming in and out his life and around my child. Which was also proven and then one stabbed him, which he first lied about in a previous court hearing and said it never happened. That was provened because his child was there and witnessed it. See all she has to do is let God do her talking, because that’s exactly what I did. It took awhile but it was all proven in the end. I don’t know what happened in their marriage but when those kids see what’s going on it speaks volumes. I wouldn’t say nothing I would fight for sole custody and child support. I wouldn’t want spousal support or nothing from him. I would let him have whatever, the house, cars, furniture, etc. My sanity, dignity, and my children are most important. When I’m done I’m done with you and I don’t want any memory of you.



TG Said on

Paige,
How do you know who Mom & Pop Winans raised!? Are you a Winans that grew up in their household? Besides, an abuser does not have to be raised to be one….he can just become one. It’s ok to have an opinion but you are trying to make your comments facts and they aren’t.



Yours Truly Said on

Why is such a big deal? I’m not excusing what Bebe did, but when I saw her interview with Lexi I did not see a battered woman. I do not believe that she has suffered years of abuse. I really think because of this incident she will create a rift between the father and his children. This is not the Juanita Bynum situation. I believe she is making the incident bigger than what is was.



pbcqty Said on

I can’t believe that some people are up here taking up for this man. This is not the first time that this has happened between him and his wife. It’s in writing people! Just because he’s a Gospel singer doesn’t make him any better than Chris Brown. Wrong is wrong!! Chris Brown is wrong and had to suffer consequences and so should Bebe Winans.



Ron Said on

He is not above the law, and should have been punished like everyone else with these charges. Yet he says that he’s a man of God lol. Come out of the closet & stop pretending.



marvell Said on

you,know we have to stop living in all this falseness ,and know that you really don’t know who people are and what they can become and so what that its a winans does that not make it true he is still human.and we must stop black men from being so lowdown and nasty to there ,wifes,children they never learn they just go on to the next woman and her kids with the same crap ,



angel Said on

I think it’s time america talk about domestic violence in the black churck. It is a big problem. I know of cases where me who had a history of violence went looking for so called “submissive women” in the black church. And they would beat and quote scripture of why they women should take the beating and expect they not report it to the police. I am sadden to here he was not prosecuted. I have heard so much about campaigns to save the black men. When are we going to try to save the black woman and end violent abuse of black women. I have been a victim and I am a survivor and urge all women no matter what report it and fight back….
not only did the children see so did God.



corrine coates Said on

Well Torrence,
I just read the interview you had with Debra Winans well she sounds like a woman hurt and angry. I heard on Steve Harvey that the charges were dropped and the truth came out but what truth. Did some evidence come out to prove she was lieing or going overboard with some issues making it more than what it seems. I mean if he did this before about 2-3 years ago but she dropped the charges then there is some anger issues going on. I don’t know pray is needed and closure for their marriage and relationship sad but true. The bigger issue is the violence they he may have. I pray that if he really does have an issue with that , he will get help before the next relationship he gets into. If this happens again well then there is nothing he can really say because at that point it will be someone else saying the same thing. This two shall pass God Bless everyone.



C Said on

Be Be was raised by lovely parents. But at the same time Be Be is also an individual, who can make is own choices. It doesn’t take anything away from his parents. None of us were behind their close doors, but speaking from experience some people are not what they seem and he could be one of those people.



Dawn Said on

Bebe if you did this! Shame on you! To put your hands on a female mean you can’t handle a male!! Sad! Yes he has the money and fame but if this is true you’re faking God’s name! God will punish you! Sad and I’m disappointed at you!! Only God can Judge so I’m through with it!!



dre Said on

I believe that there were a lot of red flags that was apparentin the marriage.both mr winans and Mrs winans had the greatest responsibilty of protecting those children and they both failed to act.hopefully both parties seek necessary counseling either thru religion affliatioin or professional help. The family will be In my prayers.



michelle Said on

It sounds like they are not paying debra no attention they should have let the
kids speakout to that. That is going to scar those children for the rest of their life to know that they dad got away with what he did to thier mom. But guest what he did something to her because he didnt shed those tears for nothing on sunday best . He might be got away with this but not by god and i know he knows better.



Reina Said on

I am floored at some of the comments that i am reading here on some levels. Let me say to those of you coming at Torrence about the choice of blog… he is a journalist. It’s called a job and he gets paid to do it. If you don’t like it, don’t read it. And to those hypocrites who actually read the blog and then comment “shame on you,” to him, I say, shame on YOU for wasting 5 minutes of your life on such “garbage” according to your standard. You should repent right now for forsaking your holy oaths to avoid journalism at all costs … I’ll wait…

K… now that the checks have been issued…

It’s really disappointing that we get so wrapped up in the stuff of church that we actually forget God should be a part of church. Someone actually said she didn’t look battered? What in the battered hell does one look like when they are being abused??? And let’s be clear, just because charges were dropped does not mean he is not guilty of the incident.

Whether he did it or not, abuse is real… period! If the church was really on its job there would at least be some “conversation.” Do you even know how many women and children are sitting on your church pew being abused physically, verbally, sexually, emotionally. We don’t deal with that. God forbid we should deal with those issues cause the “real issues ” are things like lipstick, hairstyles, who someone else is sleeping with, battle of the flowers (don’t ask), usher board programs, choir annual days, and some God forsaken standard of living holy that NO ONE can seem to attain… we spend so much time on a rhetoric of perfection that we miss how flawed we really are.

Whatever happened has happened and only God knows the truth, but to hear people suggesting that he was raised in a “good family” so he couldn’t have done it… really? So now we allow our respect for people to negate our responsibility to seek truth and offer help? Having been abused physically in a 4 year marriage I thank GOD I don’t look like what I’ve been through. I am making it my mission to speak out cause I am so OVER “just pray about it.” You let someone knock you into a few walls, call you names, and punch you and tell me you would just “pray about it.

if we spent as much time on addressing these topics as we do on hundred dollar offering lines we might actually make some headway. I’m not interested in judging her or him. But let’s stop ignoring the elephant in the room. It is here and it’s stankin!



Cocoa59 Said on

To Reiner no one is bashing Torrence, it’s that somethings seem to be right but is wrong for money ambitiion. God said, 1 Thessalonians 4:11
Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business and to work with your hands, just as we told you, so that your daily life may win the respect of outsiders and so that you will not be dependent on anybody.



Cocoa59 Said on

Another note Torrence is calling his colume “The Gospel” this is blasphemy against God. The gospels of Jesus Christ is “Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John.” There’s no such gospel in the Holy Bible saying the gospel of “Torrence.”



Stacy Said on

What it all boils down to is either one of them could be lying and if so they will be dealt with by God.



JoAnn Said on

i think that she is right about,if he did it once he will do it again.also he will be judged when his time comes.



PLANTATION Said on

GALATIANS 6 : 1 , 2 . Brothers , Even If Anyone Is Caught In Any Trespass , You Who Are Spiritual , Restore Such A One In A Spirit Of Gentleness ; Each One Looking To Yourself , So That You Too Will Not Be Tempted .
Bear One Another’s Burdens , and Thereby Fulfill The Law Of Christ .
Peace & Blessings , To The Family , Power To God’s People !