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Torrence’s Take On Bishop Noel Jones and LisaRaye
Published by Torrence Glenn on Monday, November 21, 2011 at 10:58 pm.
Today (Monday, November 21) the internet went crazy (and understandably so) with news of a rumor that the Bishop Noel Jones (Pastor of LA’s megachurch City Of Refuge) was engaged to 
actress and reality TV star LisaRaye. I’ll admit I was equally drawn to the story and even more surprised but not for the reasons you may think. First, let’s get this out of the way. I spoke to sources close to the situation and yes they are dating. But no, they are NOT ENGAGED at this time. Now that would or should be the end of this post right? Well no… Blogs and websites (gospel and mainstream) have already covered the rumor of engagement part, no need for that from me. So like always, I want to tackle this thing with a little “perspective.” Ready?
So aside from the initial shock of “Bishop Noel Jones is marrying ‘Diamond’ from The Player’s Club,” (Own it, that was the first thought that came to your mind too…,) I got a bit concerned about something else. Something way more “interesting” (and important) in my opinion. I began to worry about how this news would affect some “church girls.” What do I mean? Well let me explain. (Warning: I’m going to talk frankly about some of the not so perfect parts of church culture. If you’re swimming in the deep end of the pool and can’t acknowledge any simple, albeit sometimes unfortunate truths about the institution you’re so passionate about this post may not be for you.) Ok, now that that’s out of the way back to “church girls.” Being the church boy I am I’ve known my share of church girls (it’s more than simply being a Christian male or female.) If you’ve grown up in church or been in church for a long while, especially if you’ve had the opportunity to be a part of a denomination, you know what I mean. As a church kid in general you grow up with certain general and some unspoken rules, truths and assumptions. Sometimes these rules, truths and assumptions can unfortunately create a bit of mania that if not checked will you lead to CRAZY. So when the news of this rumored engagement broke, I knew that chances of “church girl crazy” rising up were high.
Let me explain. Church girls are taught to be “different.” Although we all “sin and fall short of the glory of God” the goal is clear. You’re to be chaste, a virgin until you’re married if you can hold out (we all know how difficult that is), and if you don’t, at least try because one day a man of God will appreciate your sacrifice. Girls outside of church may seem to be having all the fun but you won’t have to go through what they go through. You’ll get a good man. A saved man. It takes a special woman; one who’s prayed up, spiritually mature, pure at heart, etc. If you want a man who’s “strong in the Lord” you’ve got to be a woman who can handle him, especially if he’s a preacher. All these sacrifices will prepare you for “him.”
But hold that thought because then something else happens. There’s a “shift” if you will. Half of your fellow church girls have gotten married, start having children and the other half are made to feel like something’s wrong. Because although they told you to “wait” they didn’t say for how long. They didn’t tell you that if you weren’t married and having children by a certain age they’d start to look at you strangely or hassle you about not being married by pretending to encourage you. So now there’s a conflict. You continue to hold out and do all the right things because it’ll be worth it. It’s at this moment for many church girls is where the “mania” sets in. This is the turning point. She may start giving in to insecurity, becoming the typical mean and angry “old maid.” Or better yet, she becomes 1 of 2 types of desperate. Desperate type 1 chases any good man they can find. He walks in the church, smiles and says hello and next thing you know: “God told me that’s my husband.” (Men run from these women like there’s a fire coming after them!) Desperate type 2 on the other hand wears her desperation on her sleeve and will just date anyone who shows interest… ANY interest. Forget compatibility, he told her she was pretty (or worse, that he loved her) and that was enough. She’s all in.
We all know these women. You may be her or on your way to being her. You’re doing your best to live saved, be a good Christian girl so that you’ll be ready and WORTHY. Then, you look up and one of the “bad girls” scoops in and gets the man and not just any man. But the Pastor, the Bishop, the one who’s first lady you thought would be on “his level” spiritually. You’re busy teaching Sunday School and she’s late to new member’s class. This is enough to drive a ‘church girl’ NUTS if she’s not careful. She looks at the facts and begins to lose it and get discouraged. He’s 60 something, new girl is 40 something. New girl is known for being “sexy,” something you were discouraged from doing because you were the good girl and the man of God wouldn’t respect you if you were like that. New girl just had a big divorce and was just on a reality show trying to find God again, etc. etc. etc. and she gets HIM anyway?
So when the news of Bishop Jones’ and LisaRaye’s relationship broke, my heart broke not for him (clearly) but for the church girls who would see this as a invitation to say “screw it. Clearly this ain’t worth it and this good girl thing ain’t working. Let me just go and do me.” This, my friends is a recipe for and the start of potential crazy. At the risk of sounding oddly deep or unnecessarily churchy, church girls this post is dedicated to you. Don’t let a relationship that you don’t understand (self included) cause you to lose it, think less of yourself or go against what you know is right for you. Trust me, there will continue to be plenty of stuff that will make you go “hmmmm???” Know who you are and trust God’s plan for YOU and not for LisaRaye, Bishop Noel Jones, your aunt Beulah or Kermit the frog. Trust me on this, doing what you think she or anybody else did will not get you what’s right for you. I hope you got it…. And for the those who must have a scripture , check out: Jeremiah 29:11 and Philippians 1:6. Just saying….
Torrence
Time will tell all
This was a VERY, VERY good posting. Thank you for sharing, Torrence!
@ Mr. Keyes it sounds like you got a little haterade going on over there and you are almost on the borderline of being a little jealous or wishing it was you.
For real, no matter how much ranting and raving you do about her being unsaved (if that is the case) and him being a man of God it all boils down to one thing: God has the final say. Just make sure your lamp is trimmed and burning bright!
People kill me always trying to take the toothpick out of someone else’s eye who you have NO connection to and you got a big two by four in yours.
Get over it. If you are so saved and righteous then you pray for them both. I am sure some of that good Holy Ghost you got will rub off on them.
The Bible does say that in the “end times” ppl will call right wrong & wrong right!! I have a question: Why is it when someone speaks truth according to the Word Of God & remind some and/or inform others about the accountability of those in leadership, it’s quickly called you’re judging someone?? HOLINESS IS STILL RIGHT & we have to be ever so careful that our walk lines up with our talk!!
This is a really Great article. You brought soo many real points!! I use to be one if those church girls… This is SOOO true!!
This article was HOT! Thanks so so much on an insight that I saw happening with in our own community but shocked (sort of) that it has reached the church. I was born and raised a “church girl” and yes it gets disheartening to see something like this happen in that very church hypothetically you and I were raised in. Keep encouraging Women young and old in the church as you did in your article and pray for this Rev/Pastor ya’ll! This is an attack of the devil that I don’t even think he can see. Yes we have a past and this is not an attack on Lisa R. , I’m sure the Rev. has his skeletons too but his work and her current work/ lifestyle speaks VOLUMES.
Your article is right on point. However, you missed one thing! Church girls also wait and wait and wait and then finally look up and they are almost too old to bear kids. (if that’s what they so desire). Then people start looking at the church girl like what’s wrong with her? Does she have a man? Is she a lesbian…..
Oh, and let’s not forget people start asking ole church girl do you want kids? Do you want to get married?
All the while church girl is waiting on the Lord to send her Her Man.
Church girls please remember…. Hold on. Everything is done in God’s Timing!
This news was a bit off putting to hear to be quite honest. Lisa Raye is currently in the show “Single Ladies” and her character is quite provocative. So, if the news is true then although she is just acting as judgmental as so called “church folk” are that may cause some problems for Bishop Jones. A first lady whose character is not a “church girl”, even one who is an actress may not sit well with his parishioners.
So, that remains to be seen. Now, having said that. On the church girl topic. I find it simplistic to call women who have been brainwashed into thinking that they will find a “good man” in the church, as long as they are faithful to God, pray, and attend regular service desperate, or “church girl crazy”. I know you mean this article to be tongue and cheek. But, lets be real here. These women are no more crazy than so called “church going men” who feel as if women in the church are not datable.
There is a misconception in the church (mostly by women) that love can only found in the pews. But, seeing that that message is pumped into their heads by ministers who mean well but in their sermons about finding a good church going man, fail to see the ratio of men to women in black churches. (Which I believe is 10 to 1) Its the same well meaning but somewhat skewed reality that black women will only find love with black men. So, is a woman crazy if she thinks that a man who is nice to her or shows interest in her is “The One”.
No, that’s unfair. It may be unrealistic. But, crazy, eh. Instead of the church pumping nonsense into its female parishioners heads why don’t they instead pump their female parishinoers heads with reality. You don’t have to have a so called “church going man” to be happy, or make a good husband. How about a man who loves, respects and cherishes you, as well as understanding and respecting your faith. Perhaps he will want to become a “church going man” But, if not then that’s okay too.
Really, it is. Take it from a former passionate holy roller, turned subdued believer and follower of Christ. My current beau is not a so called “church man” But he respects me all the same. Thanks for the article, and thank for allowing my rant.
@reformed believer- I agree with you 100% that you don’t have to have a “church going” man…I grew up in the church surrounded by lots of wonderful women who held fast to the belief that they should only be interested in men who were just as saved as they were or worse, only in the same denomination as them. This is the most close-minded point of view that one can have and that’s excatly why many “church girls” end up 45 and 50 years old, old and alone. People need to learn how to be more open-minded. God has a someone for everyone, and alot of times he may not be in the pew next to you.
Everything will be revealed in time….
I am a fan of them both…But I believe both should stay in their own venues. Lisa Raye is a great actress but her roles are portrayed sexually/seductively in the industry. (let’s keep it real). Bishop is supposed to be a man of the cloth who follows God’s word especially on the office of a “BISHOP”. The one that has a lot to lose is the Bishop bcuz he choose to live a life acccording to ‘God’s word”.If he is not then he is a hypocrite & has to answer to GOD! On one of Lisa raye shows when Bishop Jakes was counseling her. She kept it real (I respect her for that) & said even though she loves God & felt some tranquility attending a service. She is not sure if she wanted to give up her lifestyle to be solely committed in following a” saved” (holy) life. Also, I am not saying that the bishop is not a man or that he doesnot have needs. But that is when he needs to pratice what he preach & seek God for a woman that will be committed to God’s word, her husband & the ministry. After all that is what a “First Lady” of the ministry does. Anything less than that can cause problems.That is why I donot see Lisa (luv her) in this type of venue. Nor do I see Bishop in her type. Again a lot is at stake 4 Bishop & his ministry especially. So he better make sure it’s God will & not just sexual attraction! Praying 4 the both of them.
First of all it is NO SECRET that Noel Jones is an alcoholic, womanizer, and tormented manipulative man..He is loving this attention and drama….he has been laughing and talking about it all week! He won’t spend any cash on you until he gets some sex!
I dated him for years, and cut his butt off after I realized it was all a front….and pimping the church. He told me he has varicocele(twisted veins in his testies) and has a hard time when urinating and bleeds. WOW…He is a public success and a private failure. He is a WOLF IF SHEEP Clothing….Divorced from cheating on his wife, engaged 3 times, and Lisa will be going into her 3rd marriage if she takes a step to the alter.
I am elated that the man of God is marrying a woman. I have witnessed prominent ministers marry the same sex right before the congregation so I say be happy for him as he deserves happiness after dedicating his life to the church. No matter what woman he marries the church girls are gonna raise hell, so Kudos to him if he decides to settle down. God will have his back if he has made the right choice.
This is amazing! I loved every single sentence…!!!
I won’t go into detail because I could definitely go on forever…. BE BLESSED man of GOD!
Praying for you and the wisdom that is within you to touch many!
Keep blogging
Sarah Anderson
@ Renee.. YES! don’t worry… holding on right here with you sis
Amen. #nuffsaid Its God and I till He changes the equation.
Women of God be encouraged the devil is a deceiver and want us to believe that all men prefer worldly seductive women the kind God’s word warned men to stay away from in the book of Proverb chapter 7. Please know this stand firm in the Lord continue to do his will and to wait on the Lord for his perfect will in your life. God knows how to send the right women are man in your life which is his perfect gift if he so chooses, his blessings maketh rich and he adds no sorrow to it; James 1:9…….James 1:17 – Every (GOOD AND PERFECT GIFT IS FROM ABOVE, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows…….DID YOU CATCH THAT!! (GOOD & PERFECT GIFT) REMEMBER THIS ALWAYS….If it’s not good and perfect then it didn’t come from the Father, because ‘God is not a man that he should lie.
Great article…I love your reasoning and especially …they told you to “wait” they didn’t say for how long…Interesting that men of cloth are also looking outside of the sanctuary for a mate.
I enjoyed reading this article. I’d like to consider myself a woman who’s enjoying her relationship with God immensely!!! I do understand that the writer of this blog means no harm when using the term “Church girl” and yes I’ve been In church my entire life. In my lifetime I’ve tried many things and after failing at everything that was not in line with Gods word, will and my purpose I realized that salvation is the key. God cannot be limmited to one church or denomination as far as him blessing you with a mate. The bible states that if we delight ourselves in Him, He will give us the desires of our heart. As a result of cleaning up my life and serving him with my whole heart for years on July 17, 2010 at 38 years old I married my best friend (a saved man) and now he is my husband and lover. We work together in ministry and we can relate to each other and I do believe it’s because I trusted God!!! You can read His word and follow His word but can you really hold out and know that He’s got you? I respect all comments but from my experience God is the ulitimate promise keeper and His blessings far outway anything! What Bishop Jones may or may not be doing is his choice and don’t get me wrong when I heard the news I was shocked too but again, when your trusting God as it pertains to your life you CANNOT LOOSE!
Ttius 3:2 – To speak evil of no man – Greek, “to blaspheme (βλασφημεῖν blasphēmein, compare the notes at Matthew 9:3) no one.” Doddridge renders it, “calumniate no one.” The idea is, that we are not to slander, revile, or defame anyone. We are not to say anything to anyone, or of anyone, which will do him injury. We are never to utter anything which we know to be false about him or to give such a coloring to his words or conduct as to do him wrong in any way. We should always so speak to him and of him in such a way that he will have no reason to complain that he is an injured man. It may be necessary, when we are called to state what we know of his character, to say things which are not at all in his favor, or things which he has said or done that were wrong; but,