If you’re looking for a disgruntled 43-year-old outfielder with bad knees and even a badder attitude, agent Jeff Borris has just the person for you.

Barry Bonds is still unemployed as the Major League Baseball trade deadline is approaching at the end of the month, naturally stirring up the rumors that one of the 30 MLB teams will pursue the home run king.

The Arizona Diamondbacks and New York Mets were two teams mentioned but both organizations denied it.

According to Borris, Bonds could be ready for action in just 10 days.

Too bad NOBODY is interested though:

“I am not talking to any club about Barry Bonds,” Borris said, “because they all made it very clear to me they are not interested in him. Every club.

“I can’t believe he doesn’t have a job. No one has offered even the minimum salary. He made the All-Star team last year, and there’s no reason to believe he wouldn’t have a repeat performance in 2008, except for the conspiracy against him.”

In 126 games last season, Bonds hit .276 with 28 home runs and 66RBIs with a .480 OBP.

Forget about the legal trouble and steroid allegations for a second – you’re telling me there is not a single team that couldn’t use an extra left-handed bat in the lineup?

Smells like collusion to me.

Damn, damn, damn!

One day after I praise Barry Bonds for not being the bad guy, United States prosecutors say Bonds failed a drug test in November 2000, one year before hitting 73 home runs.

Earlier in the day, the federal government reported that Bonds tested positive in November 2001.

As a result, media and online reports (including me) went up reporting false information.

Does someone in the federal government have it out for Bonds?

It’s good to know the government is spending all their resources on baseball players who cheated instead of the real issues that matter such as the war and the failing economy.
Maybe Roger Clemens and Bonds will be bunkmates in federal prison because that’s where both are headed at this rate.

For more on how the federal government goofed yesterday, click here.

Barry Bonds has to be waking up this morning feeling pretty good about himself.

For once, he’s not the bad guy.

After months and months of persecution and media scrutiny, the attention has shifted in the direction of Roger Clemens, who will testify in front of Congress this morning.

While both veterans quietly left the sport in 2007, it was Clemens who made headlines last December when his name appeared in the Mitchell Report, a 20-month investigation into the use of anabolic steroids and human growth hormone.

Clemens has denied using steroids and HGH during the 1998-2001 seasons, similar to Bonds denial that he never used illegal substances.

In fact, Bonds and Clemens are very similar when it comes to their baseball legacy.

Both men are hospitable on and off the field, though you usually only hear about Bonds’ surliness.

Both men have left their mark on the sport, arguably the greatest players at their positions in the past 50 years.

Both men have been able to play baseball late into their careers with the uncanny ability to somehow getting better with age.

But the difference between the two is every person needs a good wingman who won’t snitch, and Clemens lacked that.

While Greg Anderson, Bonds trainer, went to jail in order to protect his friend and client, Brian McNamee spilled his guts to George Mitchell in order to protect himself.

The 43-year-old Bonds, who has flirted with the idea of returning for the 2008 season, should take this opportunity to retire from the game with what little dignity he has left.

And enjoy not being the bad guy for once.