Only one man could bump Michael Vick from the headlines.

Brett Favre has changed his mind once again (surprise!) and decided he wants to return to the NFL and signed a one-year contract with the Minnesota Vikings.

His contract is worth a hefty $10-$12 million and will be formally announced as a press conference Tuesday afternoon.

I’ve had an assful of Favre and his indecisiveness and I hope this move by Minnesota backfires on them.

(Fantasy alert: This might hurt Adrian Peterson’s production)

Does anyone care at this point if Favre is coming or going?

Brett Favre will remain retired.

Now, back to sports news that actually matters.

I can’t.

I just can’t do another offseason of Brett Favre and his desire to play football after “retiring.”

Favre is scheduled to meet with Minnesota Vikings head coach Brad Childress later this week to discuss the possibility of coming back (once effin again) for the 2009 season.

I don’t wish injury upon any athlete normally, but it would bring me joy if he got Tom Brady’ed Week 1 of the NFL season and was gone for the year.

Why the Vikings by the way?

Besides the fact he would get to play alongside Adrian Peterson, he would get two cracks at the Green Bay Packers during the regular season.

Nothing would make the ageless wonder happier than burning Green Bay at Lambeau Field.

And nothing would make me happier than Packers linebacker Nick Barnett putting Favre on his back.

Stop me if you have heard this one before …

Brett Favre retired from the NFL.

Shocking, right?

But this time the quarterback says it’s for good.

“Emotionally, I’m OK with it,” said Favre. “I really felt like it was time. Obviously, the circumstances last year were a lot different. Physically, if I felt better, we may not be having this conversation, but I think that’s more than anything the writing on the wall.”

It’s hard not to believe the 39-year-old based on how he struggled during the end of last season … but then again, this is Brett Favre we are talking about.

What’s to stop him from calling up Green Bay if God forbid Aaron Rodgers went down in preseason with an injury.

The old gunslinger is not to be trusted – - at all.

The Gap is not reopening for business.

Defensive end Michael Strahan has turned down an offer to return to the New York Giants and will stay retired.

You hear that, Brett?

He will stay retired.

With Osi Umenyiora gone for the season, the Giants have a gaping home on the defensive line, and the man with the gaping gap was their first phone call they made.

Strahan will start his broadcasting career next weekend as he makes his regular season debut on the NFL on FOX pregame show.

Enjoy your 8-8 season, Big Blue fans.

Did you hear the news?

Brett Favre got traded to the Jets.

(Insert sarcasm here.)

Quick story:

I’m at the Kanye West show last night at MSG, thinking, here’s my chance to escape from work and Brett Favre coverage and Glow in the Dark for a few hours.

As soon as Jay-Z finished his hot freestyle with Kanye, I start heading to the exit and what do I hear …

“J-E-T-S, JETS, JETS, JETS.”

I knew for a fact this was the Garden and not Giants Stadium.

I look up at the television to see Favre was heading to the Big Apple.

As for the trade, Favre’s addition, along with the Jets busy offseason, should make New York a playoff team.

Best of luck to Aaron Rodgers and the Green Bay Packers.

It can’t be a good sign when 6-year-olds think you suck.

The Brett Favre saga continues to drag on and now the Green Bay Packers are doing whatever it takes to keep the veteran quarterback away.

The Packers offered Favre as much as $20 million to stay retired and not return to the Packers.

Could you imagine your job offering you money NOT to show up to work?

Favre, clearly not hurting for cash, didn’t bite on the Packers offer and Green Bay is now looking at a scenario where they could find themselves trading #4 to a division rival.

Who wouldn’t want to see Favre lead the Minnesota Vikings into Lambeau Field on Monday Night Football?

“I am guilty of retiring early and there is a reason for that.  And the major issue is ‘Why did he retire?,’ and ‘He asked for a release because he doesn’t want to play in Green Bay.’ That’s not true. And I hope people are hearing this and saying ‘OK, that clears it up.”’

- Quarterback Brett Favre from an interview on Fox News around the hoopla surrounding his retirement.

Shut up, Brett.

Just shut up.

The network, in particular, Chris Mortensen had folks believing that retired quarterback Brett Favre was this close to returning to the NFL Wednesday afternoon.

Too bad Favre is not backing up those claims.

“It’s all rumor,” Favre told the Mississippi’s Sun Herald newspaper.

Is he or isn’t he?

The media darling Favre continues to stir the pot about a possible return from his short-lived retirement.

And the folks in Bristol are eating it all up.

When Brett Favre actually gets in front of a microphone and says “I’m back, and Aaron Rodgers, enjoy the bench,” then I will believe he’s actually returning.

Until then, let it go, ESPN.