Dear Candace,

I was very excited to read the news this morning that you have decided to skip your senior season at Tennessee and to pursue a professional career.

Not only are you beautiful and a great basketball player, you are leaving school with a college degree.

Now let’s get down to business – what do you see in Shelden Williams?

Seriously, have you seen him with the lights on?

OK, OK, he’s 6-foot-9, but his height hasn’t translated into a great NBA career.

Not even an average NBA career.

Your boo is only averaging three points and 2.9 rebounds a game.

That’s just three more points than I’m averaging in the NBA.

This coming from the Duke all-time leader in rebounds.

Plus, who wants to live in Sacramento? Have you seen the cows?

After the Los Angeles Sparks select you as the top in the WNBA Draft and you get settled in my hometown, give me a call.

Thinking of you,

Hater