It’s Alright to Cry Brother!Published by Samson Styles on Friday, October 15, 2010 at 7:52 pm.
When I think of the Black man, and what he should personify, I think of someone that embodies the strength of a Greek mythical God, all Mandingo-ish and Shaka Zulu-ish, free from vulnerability with an emotional disconnect that keeps him on top of his game, always dealing with intellect and reason almost entirely free from demonstrating affection.
With all that said, would a black man be considered weak if he cries? Well I asked some Black women this question and I’ve gotten some interesting answers. One woman said that it depends on the situation. “Funerals are acceptable but, other than that it’s kind of wimpy”. One of my collegues told me if her man home was in foreclosure and he had no means to provide for his family he shouldn’t produce not a tear drop to her, and that he should figure out how to save his home a his family without wasting his eye water. She considered that as being weak. One woman told me that she do not remember ever seeing a Black Man cry.
The last time that I remember crying was 10 years ago when my Grandmother died before meeting Tasha Smith. I entered her actors workshop and was not prepared for what she had in store for the Alpha males in her class.
We did an exercise that caused us to revisit our hurtful past which brought all the men to tears like babies. I didn’t realize how much hate I had inside me and the amount of negativity I was holding on to until that day. And because of Tasha I was able to move pass the ill feelings I’ve had for my father and now we are beginning to have a relationship. It was therapeutic to say the least but, I felt guilty the following day as if I’ve done something wrong by crying.
I had no reason for the guilt. It was a mental conditioning that was passed down by generations to fill a stigma that isn’t conducive for the black man growth and development. It’s like eating a lot of fried chicken, Macaroni and cheese and pork chops. Our ancestors ate that but, it isn’t good for us.
Energy is always transformed and it needs an outlet. The emotional despair that’s bottled up in the Black Man is like a stress bomb ready to explode… and it will, in forms such as high blood pressure, strokes, cardiovascular diseases, homicides and all other stress related illnesses that you can think of.
Black men live 7.1 years less than other racial groups. I also asked some white women and men if they see men crying as a sign of weakness and most of them said they do not.
To my brothers out there that’s having a hard time and is stressed out to the max. You have to release it in some form or fashion… It’s alright to cry brother!