So as we wrap up the latest episode of “Harlem Heights,” the single most common assessment is that ‘the men on the show are more developed than the women, they are doing their thing in work and in the community while the women come across very catty’. Noted and respected. Prompted by a comment left by a friend on my page (Brandon, I’m calling you out lol), I wanted to share some of the thoughts I had regarding this statement.

I think that the reason why the guys on the show come off like they’re more developed and mature than the ladies has a lot to do with 2009 being the birth of Harlem Heights, as well as our first Black President. This is a moment that, although touching to both genders, rang especially proud for Black men in America, including those men featured in Harlem Heights. Landon’s father is a prominent community leader in Harlem, that is his story…is he going to follow in the footsteps of his father? That does not mean that Landon does not have other issues he is dealing with in his life, that is just the most prominent.

Jason has a young daughter whom he has been inspired to be a better father figure for, ala Barack Obama. He wants to teach her that she can be and do anything she wants, unlike what he thought when he was growing up.

Pierre has been involved with the uplifting of communities through his job, however, this is not the crux of his existence.

Though not as adamant about being a leader in the community, Christian is also affected by our new Black president, in the sense that he wants to rise to the occasion and be the best man that he can be as well. As the season progresses, you will see that these men are introduced as being career and community driven, but their other issues soon show face as the season progresses.

The ladies of the show come from a difference place as we are introduced, and just because the things that drive us are not based in politics, that does not make us shallow.

I for one, am addressing a very close friendship that went bad. Prior to Harlem Heights, it had been close to 2 years since I had spoken to Ashlie. She was my very first friend (and very close friend, might I add) I made in New York, as my mother is good friends with her aunt who introduced us. Shortly after, I began dating a celebrity and it wasn’t that I changed, it’s that my schedule did and we began to hang less and less. Not a lot of time went by between Ashlie and I becoming friends and me entering a relationship, so I felt that Ashlie didn’t really get to know the real me to later assume that I had changed…we spent more time together after the relationship ended than we ever did before so that sentiment was hurtful…especially since the first time I ever heard of her feeling that way was from the lips of a mutual friend.

People hopefully grow up from 22-27 and change because of that, whether they dated someone famous or not. We are all guilty of it ladies: spending all of our time with our girlfriends and when we get a boyfriend, sort of trailing off. And when that relationship ended it was hard to get back in the groove of the friendship because some years transpired, not because I was too hot for Harlem. Harlem Heights picks up 2 years later where 2 prior close friends are seeing each other for the first time and trying to figure out a) where things went wrong, and b) if they can be fixed. That is a very natural and relatable story.

Harlem Heights is also about friendship and the different types of friendships that exist between women, between men, between men and women, and between different classes and social circles. There are best friends, me and Briana, and as my best friend, she rides for me. That does not mean she is mindless and spineless, but she is the big sister that reacts to her little sister being beat up on the playground, then goes back the next day and asks the questions. We all have one.

Me and Christian. Harlem Heights picks up when our friendship is already solidified…I mention briefly that Christian is my homeboy that I play Rockband with late at night, my homie that asks my advice about girls very candidly, and even has a permanent pallet in my living room on the couch as a resting place for his late night shenanigans after being out with his women friends. I am the ‘guy’s girl’, and that dynamic is tested eventually. Harlem Heights asks the question, is an adult friendship between a man and a woman ever platonic? So me giving him advice about not dating Ashlie is not ‘catty’, it’s the nature of our friendship. Of course I don’t think anyone is good enough for my little brother/friend. Christian is charming, yet very impressionable and gullible, so big sisters Brie and Brooke are always there to have his back and send any of his chicks through the wringer.

Me and Pierre…Pierre is a friend of Christian’s that was always around naturally because Christian was always around me. As Briana states, ‘Pierre is gorgeous, anybody can see that’, however, looks are not enough anymore. Don’t get me wrong, just because I was bored sick on our date does not mean that I do not like and respect Pierre as an individual and a person. A date is meant for 2 people to connect on a romantic level, and I felt like we made a more brother/sister connection than a romantic one…and like Briana eluded to in her blog, 2 attractive people on a date is just that, not a love connection.

My rejection of Pierre had nothing to do with me thinking I was too good for him by any means, and I was truly appreciative that he felt me deserving of such an over the top first date…it just wasn’t a love connection and after all, isn’t that what dates are for? :O) But stay tuned for episodes 5 and 6…this isn’t the last you’ve heard of DATEGATE. lol

Harlem Heights addresses the socioeconomic relationships that exist between us, for it is only on Harlem Heights that you see someone affluent/siddity like Kelly Mitchell attend a play with the likes of Jason ‘Young Harlem’ Allen. We are a conduit for each other; through us, Jason expands his horizons and is motivated to do more. And through Jason, the rest of us are reminded about the simpler, important things in life like home, belonging to a community, and just remembering the joy of just plain good ole people who tell it like it is without using big fancy words. I bet none of us thought that post-college any of us would welcome a local Harlem dude into our friend circle and love him the way we do, or that he and Landon would have anything to discuss. This is a real lesson to people to never close your circle of friends, or limit yourself to the types of people you hang around because you could really be missing out.

So in watching the first 4 episodes of Harlem Heights, it is my hope that amidst the catty everyday endeavors of men and women, that you are able to walk away from Harlem Heights with a broader perspective of all of us, fresh off of quarter-life crises and see yourself, or some part of yourself in all of us…and remember that behind 30 minutes of television are 8 full lives and what you are getting is a glimpse. Take all of your downfalls from one week and string them together in 22 minutes, interspersed with 30 second pleas to use certain skin care and eat certain food and drive certain cars, and there you have a mirror that you see is also your life… If you stay at the surface, you get cattiness, but I urge you to delve deeper and realize that every personality has 360 degrees and cattiness is just a piece of the pie.

Rest assured that in the second half of the season, the boys will face their fair share of ‘dog fights’ and the ladies really delve into their lives at work and their career aspirations and you really see us get focused and buckle down, and it’s like I always say, every personality has 360 degrees…right now you’ve seen about 90 of those degrees so stick around. :O)

Yes, Harlem Heights is a reality television show…many of you have cried out for years for more ‘positive Black programming’…yet many of you were bored out of your minds with the first episode (let’s keep it real) and raved that the second episode was much better…which featured what? A cat fight at a birthday party. So we got back to the basics with community stories and stories of single parents…bore and snore from the public…so this past week we got back to it with insults flying, you guys ate it up…so at the end of the day, speak on it. The ‘positive Black programming’ nobody gets, and the cattiness we look down on is heralded in ratings…SPEAK ON IT!

Just food for thought guys!

Always,

-Brooke